Potato Obsessed!

I might just turn into a potato. Seriously I’ve been basing the majority of my suppers around potato dishes and I’m in love! Spud Love! Eating this starchy tuber keeps me full and satiated for a long time. I’m actually going to start incorporating them at every meal. I’m still hitting up the gym in the am fueled by a banana but I’m thinking I need more, hash browns maybe ! I made this one night when I had a pot of refried beans leftover so I put them on some smashed potatoes, topped with salsa, guacamole and nooch! 

Then the other night I made this hot mess looking Meal and the kids goobled it up 

Leftover smashed potatoes, black beans, corn, avocado, salsa and crushed corn tostadas! If you aren’t sensing a theme here I kinda love Mexican food! So to carry on with said theme , tonight I made hash brown potatoes with tempeh, peppers, onions, salsa and nooch and topped with more avocado!

I’m already dreaming up tomorrow nights meal and you can bet it will be spud based! Three cheers for #spudlove 

It’s time for a Running Comeback!

This is a feel good story because I feel good. After being injured last year and taking a pretty significant time off I’m ready to comeback. I missed Sulphur Springs 100k and RUTS and it made me really sad. I miss my running community so much. I honestly did not think I could come back from this one because my foot (posterior tibial tendon) was pretty torched.

I focused on gaining strength in the gym and really working on building my quads, hamstrings and flutes to help with my hip issues ( yeah I had that too). This part of training was successful and I 100% feel stronger now. I started back running last week after not running since February due to pneumonia ( yup , had that too) . I’m kinda sensing the running gods were really out to get me this past year, well you can kick me but you won’t keep me down! This was today’s treadmill 5k … I almost cried! Yes it’s so very different than running outside I get that! 

This here was my first outdoor run 

A much different picture. I didn’t die though and I ran 5.15 miles so I’m calling that a victory. 

I felt so inspired by this little victory that I took the leap and registered for a fall Ultra , the Fat Ass Trail run and I’m doing the Badass 6hr which myself and my daughter did last year. I’m doing it solo this year so I’m hoping for many more miles. This is run up and down a ski hill so it’s definitely a challenging race and it’s in November ( please don’t be cold) 


Yes I am still going to lift 5x a week because in order to be a strong runner you need to be strong. I will likely be cutting back on heavy deadlifts and squats though – focusing more on accessory work !

I’m happy to be back!

Let’s rewind time to 4 years ago 

2013 – Veggie fueled runner was pretty much my “go to” tag line across social media. It got me connected with some pretty awesome people. I was lean, felt good but I was also labeled. From this point I went vegan after a few years which further placed that “label” on me. I was so worried I’d slip up and eat something non vegan and then the world of social media would call me out on it ( it happened once when I used a pasta that contained eggs) I got slammed ! But , I really liked my life as a veggie fueled runner. 

Fast forward to 2017 and things became a lot different. Biggest difference is about a 45lb weight gain 

I gained muscle too though. I began focusing on protein so much that I know I lacked nutrients, I can’t eat a chicken breast then eat a pile of veggies – my lil ole pouch just won’t let me ( bariatric surgery , rny ) . I actually started to feel really awful lately, I even went to the Dr’s today and bloodwork is ordered. My obsessive behavior with macro tracking and counting every single food item into a tracker was nuts! My new focus is on healing my body with more carbs – like oodles of veggies and fruit! I like these things and so does my pouch. I refuse to call myself anything other than a “healthy eater” and if that includes some meat or dairy who cares. 

Rewind back to 2013 when I was also running 5x a week. That is going to happen again. I was plagued by injury post 50 miler and just gave up on the idea that I’d ever run pain free again. Well I pretty much took a full year off and today I ran! 

I DIDN’T SUCK! I actually ran pretty decent for someone who has done little to no cardio for a really long time. 5k in 31 minutes, I’ll take it! 

Things I’m About To Hear ——

Are you still going to lift?

God damn right I’m going to lift.

I’ll will get protein from shakes and food.

I’m looking forward to posting more recipes and food blog posts in the future. Like I did back in the day! 

Here’s to another roller coaster ride that may or may not derail. Time will tell. 


This is my current state! I’m just done.

For the past year I be been meticulously tracking/counting my macros and calories. Every single bite of food in my mouth has been calculated – I AM DONE!

I need a break from this because honestly it has become too obsessive of a behavior for me. I google restaurant menus to find the right macros , I weigh my food and I obsess about it. It has taken over my life and I need to stop it. It’s time for me to step back and focus on more intuitive eating and my Bariatric plan. First step 

DELETED!!!!! I had too do this because if it was still within my reach I’d be tracking! It’s gone now and will I ever go back? Maybe , but for right now I’m done.

I have my yearly bariatric surgeons appt in August and I’m a good 22lbs heavier than last year. I need to fix this and I know what I need to do. Chronically obsessing over food isn’t the way. As bariatric patients we know the 1st rule is always eat your protein sources first, then veggies and never eat or drink with meals. This is what I will do plus drink a shit ton of water and do 4 20 min HIIT cardio sessions a week on top of my 5 day lifting program. Will it be hard? Heck yeah but listening to my body and understanding when I’m full is more important than trying meet my macro targets per meal.

I successfully lost 144lbs by doing just that so if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

I do understand that I have gained muscle weight and the scale isn’t always a true indication of fitness but I know how I looked and felt 20-25lbs leaner and that’s my goal without sacrificing muscle gains.

Lifting wise I’ve decided to follow my own program because again the constant tracking and uploading to Bodyspace was getting to me. I need to almost minimalize and disconnect from this part of lifting. I also decided that I’m going to work on decreasing the weight and focus on form, hitting and isolating those muscles.

On a side note , I have also made the decision to become sober and not consume any alcohol ever again. I don’t do well with it and I am done with that lifestyle as well. I’m now 2 weeks free of it and I feel great.

So let’s see how it goes over the next month by me just doing me. Focusing on my mental health as much as my physical.

Will You Ever Learn Your Lesson???? 


Yup I admit it and I show no shame because I am truly dumb. Why you ask? Well my stupid little brain reads and reads and reads into every “quick fix” “try this” fat loss program offered and guess which one I turned to again? 

Keto – and it did not work for me AGAIN see this link from last time I tried it Click here

I really don’t know what “inspired me ” to try it again but I blame Instagram. I see all these transformations and think fuck it I need this. Well it does NOT work on RNY patients and it clearly states that if you are one you should not try this lifestyle. With our rearranged guts the intake of fat is too much to handle/digest and results in a very negative/angry colon. 

So I decided yet again to listen to the Science Gods over at Avatar Nutrition and I’m back on a reverse diet to build my macros up again. 

These are my current macros , I weighed in at 185 so I did manage to lose 3lbs while Doug Keto but I know where that weight loss came from! I also used the “protein boost” feature within Avatar to bump up my protein because as an RNY patient we need it. My carbs will mostly come from veggies and fruits and I will not be following an IIFYM lifestyle as that is too slippery a slope for me. 

My lifts definitely suffered last week on Keto as I was struggling hard with fatigue, fogginess and headaches. I know that is an early symptom of dropping carbs but I don’t like it at all. 

So if you guys want to check out Avatar Nutrition  I highly recommend it. These guys (Layne Norton And Katie Coles and Mark Springer) are scientists who have researched nutrition and have created this program which is totally individualized for each person. There are multiple settings for either fat loss, muscle gain or reverse dieting. It works because science has proven it! 

Now it’s time for me to stop reading bs Instagram feeds and do what’s right! 

Here’s to Reverse Dieting and making lifting gains! 

Fat Loss Round 2 

Ok let’s try this again…. like I mean really try and not quit because it’s hard and it sucks and I wanna eat….. whine over 

Time to put my big girl pants back on and do a cut… aka fat loss phase. 

You see , my lean muscle gain was good and I was making the appropriate increases in weight but my overall body fat was out of control .. 36.2% is far too high for my liking. Hence the decision to attempt another fat loss phase. And yes I am going to do cardio again because I have to, not because I want to. Have a look at my new macros for the week

This is doable so long as I stick to filling carbs like veggies and fruit and fill up on lean protein at every meal. 

Today I did a fasted cardio workout which was 30 min of hiit sprints on the mill 

I’m still sick as a dog with a head cold and my lungs have not recovered fully from my pneumonia but fuck it , I’m still giving it my all. Then I still had a full leg day workout , this was a struggle today. I could barely squat 135 today. Changed up my plan a bit to incorporate some RDL on the smith machine, worked glutes and finished with some abs. 

After all that I was famished so I downed my protein with creatine and came home to eat this

Now to figure out the rest of the days meals and hit those macros …. Happy Victoria Day friends 

PR Sunday’s

Today was a good day! I took Friday off ( I golfed 18 holes instead) rest day Saturday so by today I was itching to pick stuff up! 

It was back day and I always include deadlifts when it’s back day, even if it isn’t in my program. I think deadlifts should happen way more often! Why ??? Because by doing them you get better! Today proved that because I hit a new PR of 255

Then I felt so good still , I pulled a NEW PR of  260!!!!! No video proof but this was my fully loaded bar ​

I’m feeling really pumped about my fitness goals right now and I’m fueling them properly. I’ll lean out in due time but right now it’s all about the gains 

Big Lifts Need Big Fuel!

Guys , if I can share one piece of advice to y’all it would be ” Ya gotta eat” 

Everyone has different goals in life and mine right now have changed for like the billionth time. I thought I wanted to cut and go into a deficit while still lifting big , but guess what??? That’s pretty freaking hard to do! I was “hangry” and it affected my lifts. So back to the drawing board and my conclusion is this ” big lifts need big food” I gotta eat! 

I’ve altered my macros again 

Focusing mostly on getting as much protein into me as I can. Hitting 279g is really freaking hard for someone who has a reduced sized stomach- I can only eat up to 4oz of meat at a time. I also cannot eat much more with that meat so I need to spread it out over the course of the day. I’m also chugging back about 3-4 shakes a day because if ya gotta drink water ya might as well put some protein in it! My fats are kept higher because eating eggs is important to me, I can knock back 3 eggs in a sitting so I need those fat grams. My carbs are sitting at 0.5g per lb of body weight. 

My typical day of food goes something like this 

Pre workout 

2 cups coffee with Splenda and fat free creamer


Protein bar or protein bites 

Post workout 

Shake with 2 scoops protein and water

8 ju jubes ( get that fast acting glucose to those muscles) 


Eggs, salad, meat, cheese whatever makes up around 390 calories 


Shake with 1 scoop protein water 

Cheese, meat, apple, tangerine 


Meat, veg , cottage cheese


Casein shake with 1 or scoops depending on where protein is sitting 

Then I will macro cap for the balance of my fat and carb grams , could be anything but I don’t typically have carbs leftover at the end of the night. 

So where is this getting me? Well I’m lifting hard and heavy

Today I was able to hit some good numbers and pull my pr deadlift of 250 after doing working sets ​

Squats are doing ok , work still needs to be done there 


I’m loving Kris Gethin’s hardcore trainer and the accessory work is definitely helping me form muscle definition , all I can say is ” I love my traps” 

There is no way I/me can build muscle in a deficit, some can but I know my body and I need to eat. Being a bariatric patient protein is the number 1 macro so it fits this lifestyle. Gaining weight is ok because there is a huge difference between “gaining weight and gaining fat” !!!! I’m all about the muscle weight gain! 

Lifting Is Easy – Nutrition Is Hard!

Ain’t that the truth! 

For me staying motivated in the gym is no problem, finding programs to keep me interested- no problem. 

Figuring out how to fuel these workouts BIG PROBLEM! 

I’m someone who needs to read everything , every study , every internet snippet of info I can find on what diet/lifestyle is the BEST OUT THERE. Well guess what – I ain’t found it yet? I have been following Avatar for months now and the reverse dieting was easy – you just keep on eating more. Then I decided I got way too fluffy and I needed to cut – so I entered into fat loss phase- no bueno! No pounds lost no body fat lost. So what do I do ? Start researching again. I go and pay for a custom meal plan ( which was ok but I’m not convinced yet) , then I start researching Keto again – oh god No Dawn remember what happened last time see link Here

Then I find Jim Stoppani’s 6 week Shortcut to Shred plan. I started reading and I do not like his workout plan – I’ll stick to Kris Gethin Hardcore Trainer 2 plan that I’ve just finished week 1 BUT his nutrition plan piqued my interest. I Fear Carbs! I always have and as a Bariatric pt I have to. It is rule #1 to eliminate carbs!!!!! So , Stopanni suggests that you eat 1g of protein per lb of body weight (1.5g preferrably) and 0.5g of fat. He uses a scenario for carbs but I picked the phase 3 one which was 0.5g carbs per lb of body weight. Now – listen up ! I set my new goals is My Fitness Pal to read 

I weigh 185 – so I went with a little more than 1g of protein but not 1.5 because I simply cannot eat 277g of protein in a day. 

Fats are perfect at 0.5g = 93g fat per day

Carbs 155g which is a little more than 0.5g per lb. I’d have to be at 93g /day if I calculated it. I chose to go a little above it the first week , then I’ll reduce next week. Monday is my weigh in day with avatar so this is when I will start this plan- give it a week see how I feel and if I want to continue. 

I’m kinda at a point right now where I just want to give up on the macro tracking and constant weighing of myself. I’m becoming too obsessed with numbers and targets. I think I’d rather focus that energy in the gym lifting. That’s the easy part! 

After I weigh in tomorrow my kid is hiding my scale, I won’t step on it till next Monday. If I find the tracking and counting becomes to obsessive then I’ll stop. Easy as that , I’ve lost weight in the past just intuitively eating – I can do it again. 

My bariatric program is great and I still have all the paperwork and handouts and notes from my surgery. I will just go back to the those easy simple basics- Eat All Your Protein and Don’t Eat Carbs! 

Until then , you will catch me searching the web for the perfect weight loss solution and googling fat loss help! Lol – mostly kidding but other than that I’ll be in the gym 5 days a week killing workouts and making fat cry! 

I’m FAT!!!!

Good lord what the hell has happened to me??? 

I’ve been following a reverse diet which ultimately had me gain 10lbs over 12 weeks , I looked leaner but the scale is a liar. But ….. today I did my Before pics for the Still In It Challenge and man oh man I look so fluffy and fat! 

The scale doesn’t lie in this case because I’m 185lbs and 35% body fat, that’s dam near obese! My WLS would be going nuts right now. 

Proof – look at these pics which I took in my bathing suit so my afters will be done in the same suit

Girl —– cellulite is for realz!!!! 

I’m on a moderate fat loss program now but it’s time to ramp it up and hit rapid fat loss. Yes my macros are going to decrease but I need to be in a calorie deficit if I want to lose. I know there is muscle in there somewhere but that ugly fat layer needs to be shed first.

I’m going to use my Alpha Female training for my lifts for the challenge as they were tough! 

I AM Doing CARDIO because I have too, but only 25 min HIIT 3-4x a week. 

I’ll be posting my video on my weigh in to my You Tube channel every Thursday so stay tuned and watch me get my weekly macros! 

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